i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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