i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
