the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I will be naked everywhere
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize