Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
