we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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