lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dear god my vagina.
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