And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
