I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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