The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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