I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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