I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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