before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
