Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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