Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
