is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
