she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
