let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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