If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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