We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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