At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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