Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
