Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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