i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we're so committed to being not committed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
