it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I am naked and annoyed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
