About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
