dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
