i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
