no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
