i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
