This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
