two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Farmville is her only friend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
