I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
