Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Tell her she can't have a vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
