Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
