If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
