: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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