This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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