So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
