you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
