every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
