God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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