New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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