My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
