we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
