I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
