Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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