32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
