these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
