I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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