She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
